So I move back to college on Monday. My school is only an hour away from my house, but it's still far enough away that I feel like I'm on my own. I'm really excited to not be around my parents every day. I feel like they are always judging me. Always taking note of everything I eat (or don't eat), when I work out, etc. My dad always makes little comments. Like the other night he was ordering pizza for dinner and he was trying to figure out how many pies to get. He was trying to calculate how many slices each sibling would have and he said "well we know Tara won't be having any." That time wasn't as bad as others because the only other people around were my siblings and not family friends or more distant relatives. Drawing attention to it is just not necessary. Yes, I have an eating disorder. But I am reasonably open about it with people who I am close to, so I don't know why he has to comment on it every day.
I also just can't wait to be busy again. Not that I'm not busy now with 2 jobs! But at school, I have classes, my varsity team and 3 jobs! (And hopefully an internship this fall.) So my only important activity of the day isn't going to be eating, like it has been for so much of this summer. I feel more like a normal person when I'm extremely busy at school. I don't have time to idolize eating. I eat inbetween or on my way to my different responsabilities/activities.
I am a little worried about being so tired this semester though. If I do get an internship, I'm going to be communiting into the city twice a week. That on top of classes, tennis and work will be exhausting. I won't have time or energy to work out a lot and I won't be getting the proper amount of sleep. (And I know that lots of sleep is important for staying thin.) Ugh, I just hope it all works out.
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